Rob's Rants

Humanizing the Narcissistic Style by Johnson, Stephen M.

2007-03-31T12:46:28Z

What one reviewer had to say

Pathological narcissism is a pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one's (False) Self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition. The concepts of False Self and Narcissistic Supply are critical for the understanding of narcissistic behaviour patterns. So is the ruthlessness and single-mindedness of the narcissist, addicted to his narcissistic supply, devoid of empathy,

I think this is what is wrong with me :(

2007-03-30T21:30:29Z

Been doing a little research and a self-diagnosis leads me to this. I've copied this straight from the Wikipedia site

Emotional detachment, in psychology, can mean two different things. In the first meaning, it refers to an inability to connect with others on an emotional level, as well as a means of coping with anxiety by avoiding certain situations that trigger it; it is often described as "emotional numbing" or dissociation. In the second sense, it is a type of mental assertiveness that allows people to maintain their boundaries and psychic integrity when faced with the emotional demands of another person or group of persons.

First sense: inability to connect
Emotional detachment in the first sense above often arises from psychological trauma and is a component in many anxiety and stress disorders. The person, while physically present, moves elsewhere in the mind, and in a sense is "not entirely present", making them sometimes be seen as preoccupied or distracted. In other cases, the person may seem fully present but operate merely intellectually when emotional connection would be appropriate. This may present as extreme difficulty in giving (or receiving) empathy, and can be related to the spectrum of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. [Johnson, Stephen M. Humanizing the Narcissistic Style. NY: Norton and Co., 1987, p. 125. ISBN 0-393-70037-2]

Thus, such detachment is often not as outwardly obvious as other psychiatric symptoms; people with this problem often have emotional systems that are in overdrive. They have a hard time being a loving family member. They avoid activities, places, and people associated with any traumatic events they have experienced. The dissociation can also lead to lack of attention, and hence to memory problems, and in extreme cases, amnesia.

A fictional description of the experience of emotional detachment in the first sense was given by Virginia Woolf in Mrs Dalloway. In that novel the multi facted sufferings of a war veteran, Septimus Warren Smith with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( as this condition was later named) , including dissociation are elaborated in detail. One clinician has called some passages from the novel "classic" portrayals of the symptoms: Herman, Judith Lewis M.D.Trauma and Recovery Basic Books New York, NY. 1992 pp49 and 52.

Second sense: mental assertiveness
Emotional detachment in the second sense above is a positive and deliberate mental attitude which avoids engaging the emotions of others. It is often applied to relatives and associates of people who are in some way emotionally overly demanding. A simple example might be a person who trains themselves to ignore the "pleading" food requests of a dieting spouse. A more widespread example could be the indifference parents develop towards their children's begging.

This detachment does not mean avoiding the feeling of empathy; it is actually more of an awareness of empathetic feelings that allows the person space needed to rationally choose whether or not to engage or be overwhelmed by such feelings.

I wanna dance the world too

2007-03-19T18:52:11Z

bruised_heel @ 2007-03-18T20:46:00

2007-03-18T20:51:01Z

I refer you to these journal entries, all I can say is that things did not go as expected.
http://bruised-heel.livejournal.com/77273.html#cutid1

http://bruised-heel.livejournal.com/77026.html

No-one is going to force us to become 'one'!!!

bruised_heel @ 2007-03-15T16:05:00

2007-03-15T16:13:46Z

cześć jak się masz? Uczę się polskiego. Miło znowu cię widzieć. Nikt może mówić po polsku?
Miłego dnia, do widzenia.

Gray-headedness is a crown of beauty when it is found in the way of righteousness- Proverbs 16:31

2006-08-26T15:19:00Z

Yesterday I was down at the Post Office to mail a book and pay electric bill, the woman serving me said hello and commented that I had not been in in a while and then she pointed out that I now have a few more gray hairs. Thanks a lot lady!!

"Before gray hair you should rise up, and you must show consideration for the person of an old man", Leviticus 19:32
Today whilst out delivering the mail I was almost knocked over by an elderly person riding on the pavement in their electric scooter/car. I was just about to shake my fist at her as she sped off up the street when I realized it was my gran off to visit my mother, I let her off. They should really have driving tests for those things.

And in other news, The Rifles are my new favorite band, go check them out

Rob's story part 4

2006-08-23T17:41:44Z

For any of you who read those two rather confusing journal entries of mine, well one was a voice post, and if you understood them, let's just say all is not well and not everyone played ball..Now to carry on with Rob's story. If you remember I was sat talking with a psychiatrist and we left with her saying 'You've been scammed'....

Well how did I feel when she said this? I wanted to reach over the table and do evil to her, how could she doubt me? how could she doubt Sarah? how could she doubt Jane, my friend of the last year or so, the woman whose home I had sat in, the woman whose two children I had met. Okay so it did seem a little bizarre, I had a relationship with a girl who died whom I had never met, lots of people died around Jane, but still I lived through all this pain and now the damn shrink is telling me all that pain was for nothing, no way!!!!

I just wanted one person to believe me, one person not to laugh at me, one person to put their arm around me and tell me it was going to be alright, I wanted a shoulder to cry on, you made me feel so small that day and you made me so so angry, I came to you for help and what did you do? there was no consoling words you just came straight out with it, I had been scammed, you bitch.
I can't remember much more about that session, but it made me more determined to prove that Sarah really existed, all you people who laughed at me, I was going to prove you all wrong, and I knew what I was going to do next.

Rob's been to Alton Towers

2006-08-16T20:47:59Z

Rob update

2006-08-09T15:24:00Z

I don't think anyone really believed the last journal entry we made, the phone post, it's understandable, but here's an update...
Things are not going well for Rob. The story that I began to tell you, (when I say I, I mean not Rob but the rob who narrates things) this story has been kept secret for six years and some people are not happy that it is now out of the bag, some wanted to keep it hidden and not talked about. Some of the robs though are so so angry now that they do not want to co-operate, they are coming to the fore more and more frequently and it's hard keeping them under control. They did not want this story to be told, now they are angry and want revenge. If you could see the look in Robs eyes right now you would know I'm telling you the truth here. Of course Rob doesn't quite know what's happening to him, he's not really with us at the minute. He goes to work, he eats, he sleeps, he sees friends, he functions, but we handle all that for him. ask him what he did yesterday and it will take him a while to think, he only knows what we tell him.

You still think I'm talking rubbish don't you? you know Rob but who are these robs?, no-one ever believes us!!!!

Rob or rather I have not finished telling you the story yet but I will tell you that he was scammed, scammed big time. How did he take it? he withdrew into himself and then we one by one appeared on took over for him, he will never ever trust another person again. You still think I'm lying? Rob never wanted anyone to know this but he has another live journal account, one which he has had for a good while now and one which he writes in frequently. Don't get me wrong when I say he writes, it's not his journal, I write it for him on behalf of some of the quieter calmer robs, the robs who want to trust people again and to a certain extent do trust. If you were to compare these two journals you would see that they are seemingly written by different people, you would not think that both journals were written by the person you know as Rob walker.

What next for Rob? well we can't do this alone, we've tried. Rob is going to seek help again, he is more aware now of his mental problems and should be in a better position to help himself. For now is ok, he's not in any harm although a little out of it at the minute, but like I said at the outset the telling of this story has unleashed a whole lot of anger but we are trying to deal with it.

If you do choose to comment be assured that we do read them but we cannot reply just yet.
Thank you

Voice Post:

2006-08-04T17:24:10Z

A Windfall

2006-08-03T13:26:34Z

We hard working Postmen/women here in Rotherham received an unexpected bonus in our pay packets today, a productivity bonus of 30p, that's right thirty pence.

I've been scratching my head all morning trying to think of what I can buy with such an amount and I can think of nothing. You guys got any ideas?

Two tips of the day, well actually three

2006-08-02T13:27:52Z

Tip one...Don't drink whiskey from a pint glass, not when you have to be up at 4a.m.

Tip two... Go download Wolfmother, these guys ROCK!!!!!

Tip three...Forget tip one, drink about a quarter pint of whiskey, download some Wolfmother and turn up the volume, turn it up as far as humanly possible, these guys ROCK!!! I said that already.

I'm going to bed, I need some sleep

Here I go again

2006-07-22T15:56:18Z

I bumped into a relative today who informed me that cousin is getting married today and will I be at the reception? I remember getting an invitation some months ago but I did what I usually do with such invites, filed it in the bin, not that I don't like my cousin, it's just that I'm the black sheep of the family who people only see at such functions like this, weddings or funerals. I kinda like it, it's my cousins day but I will no doubt get my fair share of attention this evening, comments like 'We haven't seen you since....., Are you not married yet?.....You found God didn't you?....'
I feel like Patrice Meursault (The Outsider - Camus) mixed with a bit of The Fonz when I go to these functions, aloof yet cool, and everyone will want to buy me a drink which I won't turn my nose up at. I plan on arriving about 9 when it's already in full swing, buy myself a single malt, say hi to my folks and no doubt walk up to some female cuz I've not seen for years and ask her 'when did you get so pretty?'

Who wants to come with me?

Give me a drink

2006-07-17T12:54:53Z

It's 30 degrees centigrade out there people, that's about 86 degrees in other money. It is NOT lovely weather for my job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please offer your Postman/woman are cold drink on days like this, I'm sure they will appreciate it

Know the answers to any of these?

2006-07-11T19:43:09Z

1. what is the traditional flower of remembrance? (not poppy) Rosemary

2. when Gene Roddenberry (star trek creator) died, some of his ashes were sent where? Space

3. which Rotherham born poet was known as the "Corn-Law Rhymer"? Ebenezer Elliot

4. which Japanese word translates into English as "empty orchestra"? Karaoke

5. which word in the Phonetic alphabet woul score the most points in a game of scrabble?
6. what is the most common street name in Britain?
7. the first single to sell over two million copies in Britain was written as a tribute to where in Britain?
8. who lives "in the top left-hand cornerof Wales"?
9. which is the longest motorway in Britain?
10. which is the most common gas in the air we breathe?
11. as at July 2006, who is the only British Prime Minister to have been appointed and dismissed four times, serving four separate terms in office?
12. what was significant about the words "Watson, please come here, I want you", when spoken in 1876? First words spoken over the telephone

13. which is the only city in the world to span two continents Istanbul

14. what are the names of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
15. what is the name of Derek Trotter's local?
16. what comes next in the following sequence? red, blue, white, black, orange
17. in which year was the penalty kick first introduced into football/soccer?
18. in the line in "casablanca" which is often misquoted as "play it again Sam", which song is Sam asked to play again? As time goes by

19. how was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known? Mother Teresa

20. in 1986, nine moons of Uranus were discovered. What were they named after? Roman Gods, Greek Gods, British Scientists or Shakesperean Characters?
21. what is the only letter that does not appear in the Periodic Table of Elements?
22. who is the all-time best-selling fiction writer in the World?
23. other than humans, which are the only animals that have sex for pleasure? (two answers)
24. in the 20th Century, who were the only England Internationals to be named European Footballer of the Year?
25. which are the only two sports where the defending teams are always in possession of the ball and the attacking teams can score without even touching the ball?
26. what is the highest point above sea level? Peak of Mount Everest

27 what is the lowest point below sea level called and where would you find it? Death Valley California

bruised_heel @ 2006-03-14T12:21:00

2006-03-14T12:27:02Z

Okay, it would be wrong if I disappeared without saying a word so I've decided to tell you a story. I'm not going to tell it all in one go because you would just get bored so you will just get a little bit at a time. I'm not going to start telling it today but maybe tomorrow when I have a little more time. But once I've finished telling it there's a strong possibility that I wont journal anymore, all I can say is sorry.

I'll speak to you soon.

(Yoko if you read this, I got myself some tickets for T in the Park Festival)

Time for a break

2006-02-28T17:01:18Z

Okay, it's time I took a little break again and a self imposed exile is needed. To my new LJ friends, from time to time I disappear for awhile without posting, now is one of those times.
I'm ok, no need for concern, I'll see you all soon.

Hot Hot Hot

2006-02-27T18:54:14Z

I just invented chili stew :)

Man killed after not paying for petrol

2006-02-27T13:24:25Z

A young fella in my folks village died yesterday. It turns out he sped off on his motorbike after filling up at the petrol station without paying. A mile or so down the road he hit a tree and was killed instantly.
What a tragic waste of a young life, he was only 20, but at the same time i think to myself, it serves him right, he chose not to pay and he chose to speed away down a county road.

bruised_heel @ 2006-02-26T11:04:00

2006-02-26T11:10:50Z

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bruised_heel @ 2006-02-25T11:29:00

2006-02-25T11:34:46Z

A young woman approached me in town last night as I walked to work (I did a night shift on overtime) and asked me 'Do you want any business'?
I don't know street talk but I'm presuming she wanted sex for money, I said 'no thanks, not when I'm on my way to work luv'
Can't blame her for trying though, it's the uniform I wear and the cheeky smile and the twinkle in my eye.

Anyway it's the first time I have been propositioned like that in Rotherham, what is my town coming to?

Anyone for a beer?

2006-02-20T20:57:19Z

I took this pic over the weekend using my mobile phone, I like this pic, it's a sign to me that the weather is warming up and we can sit outside at the pub enjoying a pint.

This was a good one

2006-02-19T17:49:47Z

the Romantic
Test finished!

you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR.

"I am unique"

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four

my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
my ability to establish warm connections with people
admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
being unique and being seen as unique by others
having aesthetic sensibilities
being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four

experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
feeling guilty when I disappoint people
feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
expecting too much from myself and life
fearing being abandoned
obsessing over resentments
longing for what I don't have

Fours as Children Often

have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
are very sensitive
feel that they don't fit in
believe they are missing something that other people have
attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Fours as Parents

help their children become who they really are
support their children's creativity and originality
are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose BY

Would you rather have chosen:

AY (EIGHT)

CY (SIX)

BX (NINE)

BZ (FIVE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 17% on ABC

You scored higher than 54% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Top Of The Pops on Thursdays, remember?

2006-02-18T17:59:16Z

Was at my folks house after finishing my rounds flicking through the music channels, I'm listening to a song and my mum says 'Is this those (Arctic) Monkeys? this is not music'
Whoa, flash back twenty odd years and watching Adam and the Ants, Madness, Bad Manners on Top of the Pops on a Thursday night, she said the very same things back then. I guess Parents are never cool.

Top of the Pops on a Thursday night, those were the days. It should never have switched to Friday.

Sir Roy, HELP. Football/soccer quiz

2006-02-16T14:24:43Z

Beneath the cut is a soccer quiz. The first sixteen question are about Rotherham United as this is a local quiz in order to raise money for the struggling club. The next few question are about football/soccer in general so if anyone knows the answers to any of these...

It's beneath the cut because I scanned the question sheet and I didn't know how to resize it and keep the text big enough for us to read.